Hmmmmmmm this is a hard one for me. I normally have a wishlist in my mind for occasions where I am fortunate to be receiving gifts - like birthday, anniversary, Christmas etc. When I'm asked for hints by people who will be buying gifts I'll ask for one of them.
Then there's the wish list that I secretly have in my mind that I add things to and hope to one day obtain myself, budget allowing.
This year I find myself with no wish list for Christmas. I have been praying, hoping, wishing that we could move for so long and earlier this year praying and for speaking that we would spend Christmas in a new Home..... Now we have our new home I am in awe that we actually will be spending Christmas here.
The closer Christmas comes, the more I feel a pang of pain of the memories of last year's Christmas at the hospital.
After plans and ideas, present shopping and wishlists I was faced with seeing my youngest gasp for breath and fight the very oxygen mask that was trying to save him.
I wish I could focus on the miracle of life, that he recovered, that a story that could have had such a different ending had a wonderful testimony of God's Grace. My mind however seems stuck on the images and memories of sickness, fear, and all things scary.
This year I haven't got the same buzz I used to about Christmas but I want to shake it off and celebrate life and the reason for Christmas.
As trite or cliché as it sounds, and I almost cringe typing, my wish list for Christmas has only one item and that is for all my boys and hubby, and my family and friends to be well and happy for Christmas.
hmmmmmm reading back, I sound like a "Debbie Downer" I hope I didn't kill anyone's buzz xxx
I don't think you sound like a "Debby Downer". I think you sound like someone who has been through a very good circumstance and then a very real and scary situation...two sides of life. You sound like you're trying to find your way back to a balance and I believe that the Lord will help you do so. I will pray that you are able to find the joys of Christmas again(big and small). Hugs to you!
ReplyDeleteThanks so much for your lovely words. I appreciate your prayers and know Lord will indeed help. Hugs back x
DeleteI understand your feelings, well not exactly, but I do sympathize. I wish you a very Merry Christmas and good health for you and your family will be in my prayers :)
ReplyDeleteThanks very much, I appreciate your prayers. Merry Christmas to you and yours also x
DeleteNot a Debby Downer at all, I understand why you would be having those feelings. I wish I had the words to say to take all of that away, but just know that I'm thinking of you and praying that you do indeed have a wonderful healthy Christmas for you and your family :)
ReplyDeleteThank you so much for your kind words. I appreciate your prayers xxx
DeleteYou are not a Debbie Downer. My thoughts and prayers go out to you and I wish you all a very merry HEALTHY Christmas :)
ReplyDeleteThanks so much. I appreciate your prayers xxx
DeleteBad experiences have a way of leaving a kind of residue on out hearts and minds,,,I hope your Christmas turns out to be a joyous one! this year
ReplyDeleteThank you so much xxx
Delete